A conversation between the Mabreys

hubby: Did you take the chairs off the front porch?

me: (major concern on my face because I'm thinking someone took them) no, why?

hubby: oh, because the chairs are laying in the bushes.

me: yes honey, if I move the chairs off the front porch, the front bushes would be the first place I put them...

If walls could talk (Part 2)

We were home for an hour before she woke up and realized we were home.

I know I'm a horrible parent, but the first lesson I've learned about motherhood is you do what you got to do.

I was planning on posting this tomorrow, but the hubby is making me wait till tomorrow to share my exciting news with everyone. So come back tomorrow.

And no, I'm not pregnant again!

Reason #578 & 579 why I love my husband...

This conversation took place in October 2009:

husband: "I realized today that I was meant to be the father of girls."

me: "why?"

husband: " when you were in the shower, your mom asked me if I knew where your straightener was and the first thought that came in my head was...why? your wasting your time with the humidity like it is today."

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

baby crying

me: "did you check to see if she was wet?"

husband: "yeah, it was dry."

I go and feel her diaper and it's soaked.

me: "honey, she's soaked. How could you not tell she was wet?"

husband: "I felt the outside and it wasn't wet."

me: "honey, if the outside of her diaper is wet, we have bigger issues."

husband: "oh, I thought that's how you figured out they were wet."

Awkward....

It took nine months, but last Friday, I had the most awkward pregnancy conversation with a complete stranger.

I was heading up to my friend Sheena's to hang out by her pool for the afternoon. I decided to stop by Chick-fil-a and grab some lunch. I decided to go inside to eat, because I'll be honest, that way I could get a refill on my sweet tea (it's my addiction). I was sitting there enjoying my nuggets and waffle fries, when one of the girls who works there (I call her girl because she is younger than me) b-bops over to me. In a very excited young girl voice, she asks when I'm due. I had just put a nugget in my mouth, so I held up two fingers and then told her two weeks. That resulted in a shrieking "OMGosh" She then informs me she's due in six months and starts rolling questions out to me. This is the rest of the conversation...

chick-fil-a girl: "so, is it a boy or girl?"

me: "a little girl."

chick-fil-a girl: "OMGosh, what are you going to name her?"

me: "Olivia Kate."

chick-fil-a girl: "oh, how does the other person feel about that?"

me: "huh?"

chick-fil-a girl: (insert some type of hand motions) "how does the other person feel about that?"

me: "the other person? my husband?"

chick-fil-a girl: "yeah."

me: "feel about what?"

chick-fil-a girl: "the name?"

me: "um, he likes it."

chick-fil-a girl: "oh."

Let's just say it was the most awkward pregnancy conversation I've had to date.

For the record, I was nice and just congratulated her on her little bundle of joy, even though I personally hate her name choice for her baby.

Am I the only one?

The other night I was talking to David about my being kicked to the couch. And I seriously started a portion of the conversation with this...

"My friend Kameron told me about this pillow that I need..."

He seriously looked at me and asked "whose Kameron? we don't know anyone named Kameron."

Yes people, I've started talking about you like I know you. You come up in my nightly dinner conversations. The hubby has even started asking nightly what's going on in the blog world. You should all feel special. Especially you Kameron, I knew you would get a kick out of that.

Am I the only one who does this?

Please don't make me feel like a complete loser. I promise I do have friends in the real world.

Almost there

The other night the hubby came home and told me he saw a little girl at work that reminded him of Olivia.

Um...okay...I of course had to laugh at this. I asked him how can someone remind you of someone you've never seen?

He didn't know, she just reminded him of our soon-to-be-here baby girl. Maybe the little girl was dressed like a pirate?
Anyways...okay, if you say so.

If you haven't noticed the ticker to the right, we are in the home stretch now. I am officially 9 months pregnant and we have less than four weeks to go. I am so ready for this baby to come, but it is still hard to believe that she could be here any day now. I cannot wait to meet her! Plus, I'm so tired of being pregnant.

David is getting nervous about her arrival. He says that is nervous about "the call." The call of me saying "I'm in labor." The other night we went to eat dinner in a town about thirty minutes away and he admitted that he was planning routes in his head to the quickest way to the hospital from there. Too cute. And kudos to him, he is now answering the phone every time I call. So hopefully there will be no problems of getting a hold of him when I do go into labor.

Thing #479 you shouldn't say to a pregnant lady

Thing #479 you should not say to a pregnant lady...

If you see two pregnant ladies together, do not ask both how far along they are and then say that they look the same size. Especially, when one tells you she is 25 weeks and the other tells you she is 35 weeks. One is carrying a 2lb. baby and the other a 5lb. baby. They do not look the same people.

It's rude.

Keep your mouths shut people.

*Sheena, you do not look no where near the same size that I do. That lady needed glasses.*

He has opened his mouth again...

David: (walking in from work) "Wow, you look...(insert long pause)...pregnant!"

No my love, I've looked pregnant for the last 13 weeks. What you wanted to say is "wow, you look big." Um...hello, I am carrying a 5lb baby inside of me! Thanks, honey!

34 weeks & 3 days

I couldn't resist...

Obviously, I had nothing to do this Sunday afternoon....

1960

This one is in honor of my Meme (grandmother), she use to have a hairdo just like this...

1964

1966

This one is just for you Alison G!

1970

1976

1978

Some of these are kinda freaky because they look real...
1986

1988

I use to have hair this big...

1992

And this one scares me the most, because I could pull this look off if it ever comes back...

1998

And because I actually do have a yearbook picture that looks like this...

2000

Of course I couldn't leave David out of the fun...

He really wasn't a football player in highshool, we were actually on the cheerleading team together...

And this is from when we won homecoming king and queen...

At the homecoming parade...

We were also voted cutest couple that year...

And just because I'm mean...

I don't care who you are...those are funny! If you have some time to waste, head over to Yearbook Yourself. It will definitely give you a good laugh.

Another small town secret...

Yep, that is what you think it is. The hubby came home with it the other night. One of David's "regulars" evidently is in the moon shinning business and David evidently looked like he was having a rough day, so he asked David to meet him out back and slipped this to him. It even came with it's own unmarked little brown bag.

Yes, there is a swig missing from it. Of course David had to try it (when he got home). For the record, he said it was a little strong and one swig was all you needed.

Another perk of working for the waffle?

The Charmer strikes again!

You would not believe the conversation that we just had.

We have become addicted to the tv show 16 and pregnant. Yes, it's sad, we're 27 and watching MTV. Anyways...

We're watching 16 and pregnant and the midwife is describing labor to the young girl who is about to have a baby. She describes it like this "pushing out a baby is like pushing out poop."

Of course, this sets the hubby off. Anything relating to poop or farts is hilarious to my husband. So he informs me "I know something about that, I might be a better coach than you think."

I have to start laughing at that. Then he goes to open his mouth and I already know what is going to come out.

All I'm going to say is that if he even attempts to scream "Who does #2 work for?" in the delivery room, that I will pick up the nearest needle and stab him.



I told y'all my husband was a charmer.

Bubbles?

You might think less of me, but I will admit, I am a secret celebrity news junkie.

It comes from my years of working in real estate. I spent a lot of time staring at a computer screen and you have to have something to look at for eight hours a day. Unfortunately, this bad habit has not left me, even after I got a job in which I don't spend hours a day at a computer. I have several websites that I check a few times a day to keep up with my celebrity news.

Last night, I go to check out People.com and this is the top story on the website...

Whatever Happened to Michael Jackson's Chimp Bubbles?

Photo by: CenterForGreatApes.org

You know what? Thursday when I heard of Michael's death, that is what I was worried about. Who cares about the three children who no longer have a father?

In case you don't have time to read the article I linked to, you'll be happy to know that Bubbles is safe and living the good life at a retirement home for chimps in Florida.

Funny

This was in the morning paper. I thought it was kinda funny. Yes, I'm sad for the kids that their parents are divorcing, but I am glad that hopefully all this Jon & Kate drama will be over soon.

Meltdown

I guess you can say that I had my first big pregnancy meltdown this past week. I have had a few small ones, but usually they occur at home and only in front of David. Nothing embarrassing yet, but that all changed last week.

It was our last night at the beach and we headed out to dinner a little later than we had the nights before. After eating seafood pretty much all week, we decided that we were going to head out for Italian. A place was recommended, but it wasn't really what we were looking for, so we decided to ride up the road a bit to find something else. Well, evidently everyone else had the same idea we had because it seemed that every Italian restaurant we stopped at was either not what we wanted, too expensive, or had too long of a wait already. We knew things would be crowded on a Friday night but we didn't think it was worth the wait. Plus, there are a million restaurants in the Myrtle Beach area so we figured we could find somewhere without a long wait.

Well, after over an hour in the car and three restaurants later, we decided to ride up north to the next small town that is usually less crowded. David's dad had the responsibility to jump out of the car and run in to check things out. We stop at the first Italian restaurant we see, he jumps out and soon returns waving us to come in. The place was small and there was not a wait, but there were enough people eating there so it seemed safe. I of course run to the bathroom while the others sit down. When I return David and his parents had already ordered drinks and were looking at their menu. I start studying the menu and the longer I look at it the more I realize there was nothing on the menu that sounded good to me at all. Turns out that it is a fancy Italian restaurant that serves gourmet type Italian. Of course that comes with only a handful of selections on the menu and kinda expensive prices.

Our server comes by and explains a few of the items we were questioning. Of course 80% of the menu items are made with some type of alcohol and they cannot make it any other way he informs us. I know it is cooked, but I still don't want to take any chances. Plus, it just didn't sound good. Our server leaves to give us just a moment and we all go back to studying our menus. As I stare at my menu, I just start to bawl. I'm not talking shedding a few tears, I am talking uncontrollable crying and I couldn't stop. Everyone says lets get up and go, but I continue to protest because I didn't want to ruin dinner for everyone else. But, I couldn't quit crying. By then everyone in this small restaurant is trying not to stare at us and the lady playing the piano I think even started to play louder. But still, I couldn't quit crying. I think our server was then too scared to even come to our table. David finally yanks me up and pushes me out of the little restaurant, while his dad goes to tell the manager we're leaving. It was pretty embarrassing.

I could finally calm down once we got into the car. Everyone of course trying to make me feel better, telling me that they didn't want to eat there anyway. We ended up driving down the road and less than a mile later we pull into a little Italian place that was more of what we were looking for and had a great dinner. Still, it was kinda embarrassing. I don't know why I was crying over dinner or why I couldn't stop. I hate to know what those people were thinking. Luckily as my mother-in-law said, we'll never see these people again.

The Dog Whisperer

We very often receive the comment that our dogs are very well behaved. We have never sent them to any type of dog training and I honestly don't know what exactly it is we do that makes them behave majority of the time. David likes to think of himself as the dog whisperer. I'm not quiet sure if that is it or the fact that we talk to them like people and they are punished like they are kids. It's one of those things that you look at them in a certain way and their tail goes between their legs and they try to hide. Like kids, they know when they've done something wrong.

The other night we go to grab something for dinner and were only gone for maybe 40 minutes. We walk in to find one or both of them have knocked over the trash can and trash is all over the kitchen. As soon as we walked in they were off and trying to hide. They got a short lecture and then we told them to go sit in their rooms (aka: their dog beds). About fifteen minutes go by and I walk to our bedroom to put something up. I notice that Biscuit is sitting in the bathroom. I'm guessing she put herself in timeout.


I grabbed my phone to take a picture and then of course gave her lots of loving. Poor thing!

Things I leaned at the hosptal tour...

We went for our labor & delivery tour last night at the hospital where I will be giving birth to Miss. Olivia. Needless to say, it was interesting . Here are a few things we learned...

~It is now politically incorrect to refer to the man with you on the tour as your husband...he is just called the baby's daddy.

~Only mother's who breast feed their babies love their babies....all bottle feeders hate their babies and will probably burn in hell.

~If you decide to go the natural route, that's great! You can just squat and give birth....seriously, that was one of the options given for natural birth...squatting.

~The t-shirts they put the baby in after birth are ugly, so you wanna bring extra clothes to put the baby in...the tour guide told us this about ten times during our hour long tour.

~Due to custody issues in the past, every baby is now equipped with a baby low jack....and don't get to close to an exit because like at the mall, the alarm will sound and the hospital goes on lock down.

~If you decide to send your baby to the holding ward at night, you better make sure to tell the nurses to bring her to you when she needs to eat. If not, they will give her a bottle and OMG she may never take to the breast again and she will be screwed for the rest of her life!!!!!

~Out of five pregnant women on the tour, I was the only one married and more than likely the only one with insurance. Of course, that made me the weirdo in the group.

~If you want the baby's daddy's name on the birth certificate, that is a form you fill out after birth...one would assume it automatically goes on there...think again.

~Oh and within three seconds of giving birth, you should demand the baby be given over to you so you can try to get her to latch on because that is the only way you will bond with the baby and for her to adjust to the new world. Otherwise the child will probably not survive due to you being a bad mother and trying to take a breathe after hours of labor.

Can you tell that a lactation coach/nurse gave us the tour? I didn't think so.

No seriously, the hospital has a very nice Women's center. Everything is state of the art and the rooms are nicely equipped for a comfortable stay for both mom and dad. It is known to be the best in our area. Plus, I luckily have a few connections there and I know several people that have given birth there recently and have only had good things to say about it. The hospital may be in the hood, but it is known to be the best in our area. I have heard horror stories about other hospitals around us. The tour guide was nice, but a little odd. Overall, I was glad we went because it was nice to see where we would be staying and what would happen when we got there. It made it all more of a reality. Can't wait to see what we learn in the birthing class!

Wednesday, we didn't do much for the anniversary (another story for another time). We did spend the day together, so that is all that matters. The best part of the day was that night...get your minds out of the gutter....David got to feel Olivia move for the first time. Within the last week I have really started to feel her move around. I had tried several times to let David feel it but it seemed like every time he put his hand on my belly, she would stop. We were laying in bed reading and she started moving around. I grabbed his hand and put it where she was kicking and he got to feel it twice. He was super excited about it. Of course, I started crying because he was so excited. The hormones are a raging right now people!

A Southern Mystery

You may not know it, but I deserve wife of the year. For the past two years, I have been in search of a hunting club for the husband to join. What's a hunting club? Basically it's a bunch of land in which a group of people pay a fee to hunt on and do other guy things on. This group refers to themselves as a hunting club. It's kinda like a man room, but instead it's outside on 700 acres of land.

So, when I started working at my job two years ago, I learned of a popular hunting club that several of the guys at work were a member of. Well, I started lobbying (bugging) two years ago for my husband to get membership in this exclusive club in which only about 15 guys are members of. Yes, many other wives may think I am completely crazy to try to find a reason for my husband to spend time away from me. I love my husband more than anything and love spending time with him, but we also enjoy our time apart. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Moving on...well, Friday at work I finally got the question I have been waiting to hear the last two years. "We have two openings in the hunting club this year, is David still interested?" I probably scared them when I screamed "yes." I immediately sent David a text and he called before the text even went through. We arranged to meet my co-worker that evening down at the property so we could check it out before we committed completely. Membership can be pretty pricey, so we wanted to make sure what we were getting into before we gave up the money.

So to make a long story short, we go down there with my co-worker and his family. They are our age and have two small kids. His wife comes up their to have lunch with him every once and awhile and we're friends on facebook, so needless to say, I knew them pretty well. So naturally, we all decide to go out to dinner together after we left the property.

They take us to this off the beaten path catfish place on the river. At first I wonder where are they taking us because we turned down this dirt road and go a little ways to end up at this little restraunt. We sit down order and are waiting for our food to come when the waitress comes out and sets down a big plate of random stuff. It had a big bowl of tatar sauce, lemons, pickles, and raw onions. David is a very curious person and though we're big fish eaters, we don't eat catfish too often. So the first thing David asks is "what are the onions for?" The others, who eat there often, respond with a "we don't know. they always come like that."

David then ask the waitress. At first she just looks at him like he is crazy. Then of course she says he must not be from the south. Which of course isn't true, he's lived in Georgia his entire life. Then she tells him "that is the way catfish is served, with onions." David not being satisfied with this answer keeps on about it. She finally just looks at him and honestly says "I don't know, it's what everybody else does, so we do too." Obviously this is the first time the onions have been questioned becasue it completely threw our waitress off. Leave it up to David to be the one.

We leave the restraunt with the onion mystery still unsolved. Fastforward to Monday morning and this coworker and I are talking about Friday night in front of a few others. He starts laughing about David and the onions. So my boss says "onions are always served with catifish, you've never seen that before?" Well, obviously we've figured that much out. I responed "but why?" His response "they just always are."

So, the onion & catfish mystery is still remains unsolved. So if anyone knows why raw onions are always served with catfish, let me know. It seems to be a mystery to all.

Things not to say....

One thing I've learned over the years is that my husband is a charmer. He always knows the right things to say. Over the years I've heard things such as...

"hey, thunder thighs!"

and

"those are what you would call childbearing hips."

Don't get me wrong, he doesn't say these things out of meanness. Those who know my husband know he couldn't be mean even if he tried. He just for some reason does not seem to get that women do not take it as a complement when you say they have childbearing hips.

Of course, now that I'm pregnant, he's learning there are things you do not say to a pregnant woman. Especially when she's stretched out on the exam table and not in a position to slap you. While at my OB appointment the other day, we are in the exam room by ourselves and I told him I gained three more pounds which puts me up to fifteen. He then proceeds to look at me and say "well, only 10 more to go." I give him a nasty look and reply "the doctor is giving me 20 more." His response...

"just because they give it to you doesn't mean you need to take it."

Then while stretched out on the exam table during the ultrasound and in front of the ultrasound tech, he looks down and says...

"hey look, your belly button is almost an outie now."

I gave him the biggest eat crap look I could and of course called his momma and told her what he said and he once again got a lecture on things not to say to a woman.

Thanks for the support honey, appreciate it.

More Pirate Talk

Sorry, for some reason we are having issues at work scanning the newest ultrasound pictures. A few people have been confused on where I am getting a pirate from. Well, here is a look-a-like of Olivia's ultrasound.

(Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest)

Just one big left eyeball. I pulled up this picture at work and held the ultrasound picture up to the screen and they all agreed. Even Olivia's Auntie Aubry had to agree with me. So see, we're not completely crazy.

Seriously...

Since I've been pregnant, I've been freaking out over whether or not I'm eating farm raised salmon or wild salmon and freaking out about how much caffeine I've been drinking.

Since one of David's employees found out she was pregnant, she has been freaking out over whether or not she should stick with her Marlboro's or switch to Marlboro lights.

I kid you not people. Last night I watched her myself light one up and proceed to puff it.

Of course, it really bothered me and I couldn't drop the subject all night. David just says I would be amazed.

It's 2009 people, seriously we all know better by now.