Things I leaned at the hosptal tour...

We went for our labor & delivery tour last night at the hospital where I will be giving birth to Miss. Olivia. Needless to say, it was interesting . Here are a few things we learned...

~It is now politically incorrect to refer to the man with you on the tour as your husband...he is just called the baby's daddy.

~Only mother's who breast feed their babies love their babies....all bottle feeders hate their babies and will probably burn in hell.

~If you decide to go the natural route, that's great! You can just squat and give birth....seriously, that was one of the options given for natural birth...squatting.

~The t-shirts they put the baby in after birth are ugly, so you wanna bring extra clothes to put the baby in...the tour guide told us this about ten times during our hour long tour.

~Due to custody issues in the past, every baby is now equipped with a baby low jack....and don't get to close to an exit because like at the mall, the alarm will sound and the hospital goes on lock down.

~If you decide to send your baby to the holding ward at night, you better make sure to tell the nurses to bring her to you when she needs to eat. If not, they will give her a bottle and OMG she may never take to the breast again and she will be screwed for the rest of her life!!!!!

~Out of five pregnant women on the tour, I was the only one married and more than likely the only one with insurance. Of course, that made me the weirdo in the group.

~If you want the baby's daddy's name on the birth certificate, that is a form you fill out after birth...one would assume it automatically goes on there...think again.

~Oh and within three seconds of giving birth, you should demand the baby be given over to you so you can try to get her to latch on because that is the only way you will bond with the baby and for her to adjust to the new world. Otherwise the child will probably not survive due to you being a bad mother and trying to take a breathe after hours of labor.

Can you tell that a lactation coach/nurse gave us the tour? I didn't think so.

No seriously, the hospital has a very nice Women's center. Everything is state of the art and the rooms are nicely equipped for a comfortable stay for both mom and dad. It is known to be the best in our area. Plus, I luckily have a few connections there and I know several people that have given birth there recently and have only had good things to say about it. The hospital may be in the hood, but it is known to be the best in our area. I have heard horror stories about other hospitals around us. The tour guide was nice, but a little odd. Overall, I was glad we went because it was nice to see where we would be staying and what would happen when we got there. It made it all more of a reality. Can't wait to see what we learn in the birthing class!

Wednesday, we didn't do much for the anniversary (another story for another time). We did spend the day together, so that is all that matters. The best part of the day was that night...get your minds out of the gutter....David got to feel Olivia move for the first time. Within the last week I have really started to feel her move around. I had tried several times to let David feel it but it seemed like every time he put his hand on my belly, she would stop. We were laying in bed reading and she started moving around. I grabbed his hand and put it where she was kicking and he got to feel it twice. He was super excited about it. Of course, I started crying because he was so excited. The hormones are a raging right now people!