Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A Change of Heart

I owe you all an apology. It seems like I've done nothing but complain lately. I've complained about not having this baby yet. I've complained about being the size of a house. I've complained about only fitting in about only four of my maternity outfits. Needless to say, I've been doing a lot of complaining.

This morning when I got up for my 4:30am feeding (that's what we call it around here when I wake up twenty times a night), I got on the computer to check my Google reader. When I logged on I saw the post from Whitney at Glamorous Housewife asking for prayers for her brother and his wife. Her sister-in-law had just given birth at 27 weeks to a 2lb. little boy. Reading this was a wake up call and immediately made me thankful for the fact I've made it this far.

Early in my pregnancy there was much concern over me making it full term with Olivia. I've mentioned it before that my mom gave birth early to both me and my little brother. I was a little over a month early. My brother was three months early and only two pounds when he was born. So, I have been through the fight this family is going to have these next few months.

It's funny that my mom's friend made the comment the other day, that they had all prayed so hard that I would carry Olivia full-term and now it seems she's going to be late. This morning I realized how thankful I am that I have this problem.

No one stays pregnant forever (though Michelle Duggar comes close). Yes, I'm uncomfortable and yes, I'm ready for her to be here in my arms, but in my heart I know that the longer she stays in there, the better off she'll be in the long run. She will come when she's ready and of course, she'll come when God believes she ready for this world.

So, I'm going to quit complaining about being pregnant. No I'm not one of those women who is going to claim she loves being pregnant, but I realize that it is all worth it for the end result and I'm thankful for the what we call the most boring pregnancy that a person could have. I realize that I have so much to be thankful for and I could have very well been in that same situation. So, I have a change of heart this morning.

Olivia , you can come when your ready. I'll quit giving you a hard time. I'm just being impatient and ready to hold you in my arms. Whether you come tomorrow or in two weeks, we'll be ready for you.


mrs.leah.maria said...

For the record, I don't believe that you've been as big of a ball of negativity as I recently {although you'd have much better reasons to be}. That being said, a change of heart in this regard is awesome. Recognizing our blessings is always something to strive towards!

Lyr said...

This was cute. But I must say that I UNDERSTAND why you do complain. I hated being pregnant, but how lucky am I that I could get pregnant?

You may have just been speaking to yourself in this post, but it really spoke to me. Thank you! :)

Kameron said...

It is hard to see the forrest for the trees when you are at the end of your pregnancy. It is easier to just focus on all of the things that are driving you nuts, plus the hormones don't help things much. I don't think you've been a Debbie downer, but I am also in your spot, so maybe I just empathize with you! I hope their baby is ok and I am glad, given your family history that you carried Olivia to term!

Tami W said...

I love you! You will be a wonderful mother. Mom

Elizabeth said...

:) That last part about made me cry! You will be such an awesome mommy! Love you!

The Popes said...

I totally just cried reading this.

I'm such a sap!

I can't wait to see this perfect little girl!

And your pregnancy wasn't all boring, remember when you puked in the bushes in the Applebee's parking lot?!?!
Andrew and I still laugh about that!

We love you and David and already love Miss Olivia Kate.

Amber said...

haha...don't worry Nicole, I have many memories of puking at several restaurants. I can probably count on two hands the number of restaurants I got sick at. Good times!