Acceptance

This afternoon Meme (my grandmother) came over so we could make our traditional Christmas Eve dinner of homemade spaghetti and meatballs. When she walked in I'm sure she was taken aback to find Olivia screaming in her crib and me on the verge of tears. Like any grandmother, she immediately took me into her arms, gave me a big hug, told me it was going to be alright, and then she asked me what was wrong?

Of course I had already broken down at that point. I was going on about how Olivia still wasn't on a schedule and was a pain in the butt to put down for a nap. I went on and on about how after eight days, she wasn't following anything the book said and how the book said it only takes three to five days to get a baby on a sleeping schedule and she was on day eight and still refusing to sleep and I'm completely frustrated (sorry to the English teachers, that sentence is completely jacked up).

Meme started laughing and then told me to throw away my book. She reminded me that every child is different (I've heard it a thousand times already) and mine is a child that doesn't like to sleep. Meme raised three very different babies back in the day when they didn't have all these instructional books for babies, they just had to wing it. My aunt she said was a good baby, my dad was just like Olivia, and my uncle...well, she said he couldn't even be explained. Some babies are difficult and others just aren't. Some babies easily adapt to a schedule and others like to do things their way. She reminded me again that this too will pass. I need to quit worrying about my house not being clean or my laundry not getting done. She told me to enjoy the time I have with her and quit worrying about her being on a schedule because the time will fly quickly. Before I know it she'll be spending majority of her days in school and not with me.

So, I've decided to accept now that my child is not a sleeper and not a fan of schedules. She has better days and is happier when she's on the go and setting her own schedule. She lets me know when she's tired and easily goes down when she wants to and needs to. She is who she is and I don't want to change that for the world. The funny thing is that she's really just like her momma. No, she's not sleeping through the night yet, but to be honest, I cherish that time of night when it's only her and I awake and she lets me hold her like a baby and cuddle her. I don't think I'm ready to give up those 3am feedings yet. It's the only time my baby lets me treat her like a baby.

So, screw the schedule...she'll sleep when she's ready.