Thursday, July 23, 2009


Sorry, this has been bothering me all day and I had to get it off my chest...

One of our shows we watch is Toddlers and Tiaras. Most people probably think this show is sick, but majority of the time to us it's just funny to watch because it's usually the parents just making a fool of themselves. We usually just laugh at how stupid and in denial the parents are. This past Wednesday night was the season 2 premiere and for the first time, I just got mad while watching it.

There was a mom on there that was a mother to five girls. The oldest were six and twins. They claimed they were fraternal, but to be honest, I could not tell the two apart. One of the twins is obviously favored more than the other by the mom and the mom did not fail to let the other know it. She continuously throughout the show told the one twin that the other was better than her. She called even called the one twin's nose "bigger!" This little girl was six years old and I can say there was nothing "bigger" on this poor child. I was sitting there and seriously could not believe the mom was saying the things she was. The other part was that the dad just sat there and said nothing. The whole situation was just sad. Throughout the entire show the mother was just putting down this poor child and constantly comparing her to her sister and doing it to her face. Of course, this poor child seemed to be the sweetest child and her "better" sister was a brat.

I don't live in denial and I believe people can say what they want but, I think majority of the time parents do favor one child over another. I don't think that the parent loves the other any less, I believe that due to interests and personalities, it naturally happens. I do think it is another thing to bluntly show this favoritism to your child. This mother was wrong on so many levels. I was appalled at the things she was saying to this six year old child. Sadly, this poor girl was only six and will more than likely live with this the rest of her life.

As the show went on, the bratty twin had to be pulled out of the contest due to temper tantrums. The "bigger nose" twin ended up winning the director's choice award, meaning she was the pageant director's favorite contestant in the entire pageant. This little girl was so excited she had finally won something and the mother barley acknowledged her. I wanted to slap the mother in the face with the way she was acting towards this child. This little girl was so excited and even tried to give her balloons she had won to her twin because she didn't get anything. All the mother could say was that she was shocked the little girl won anything.

All this bothered me for several different reasons. First, like I said earlier, I feel like you shouldn't compare your children the way this mother was. Even though they both came from you, they are still their own people and with that comes different strengths and weaknesses and of course personalities. I could not believe the things she was saying to her 6 year old. I know my child is not here yet, but I've spent years working with young kids and I know you don't say the things she was saying to any child. I don't think you should baby your kids, but the world is hard enough, as their parent you should be the first in line to have something positive to say to them. Which leads to the second reason it bothered me so much.

All women are aware of the society we live in, a society that focuses way too much on looks. I will admit there are many times I look at magazine covers of celebrities or see others in the store and wish I had her legs or was as skinny as she is. There have been plenty of times I've looked in the mirror and complained about my big butt or the permanent dark circles under my eyes. Luckily, I have a husband who is always standing behind me telling me how beautiful I am. With knowing I'm going to be a mother to a little girl, I am scared to pass on these bad habits to her. This is seriously something I have thought about since I found out I was going to have a little girl. How can I teach my daughter to love herself when I don't always love myself? I couldn't imagine telling my six year old daughter that her nose was "bigger." What is that going to do to her self esteem? This poor child is going to be so screwed by the time she is a teenager. I would not be surprised if she is asking for a nose job on her thirteen birthday.

For the record, I don't necessary have a problem with pageants. I think if your kid enjoys it and wants to do it, go for it. I have seen enough episodes of the show to see a few parents who I think handle the pageants the correct way. Of course for every one of those parents, there are three who take it to the extreme and give the pageants the bad rap they have. I do think if handled the correct way, pageants can be a good thing and be a learning experience to the child. That being said, no, I'm not running out to put Olivia Kate in a pageant two weeks after she is born.

I searched for a video clip of the twin's mom, but I could not find one that showed her actions towards her child. Here is a overall preview of last nights episode. The mom to look out for is the Sterling's. it just me or does the little blond girl look like a four year old Anna Nicole Smith?

Thanks for listening to me's been bothering me all day.

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